Episode 7: How to prepare your relationship for life after baby
In this episode, you’ll hear Dr. Veronica Eyo and I discuss:
Why are people coming to therapy during pregnancy / postpartum?
For pregnant people, they want to be prepared for what their lives might be like after baby. They want preventative care for perinatal mental illness.
For postpartum, people want to be validated and want the space to say what they’re feeling.
They also need coping skills and someone to cheer for them.
What are the myths people hear about the effect having a baby has on your relationship?
It’s a myth that once your baby arrives, you’ll know what to do. It takes time to learn how to care for a baby.
It’s a myth that having a baby will bring you closer. The first year postpartum can be incredibly difficult on your relationship, so people need to have compassion and communicate.
How can couples prepare for a baby? What can they talk about?
Couples should have the conversation just naming that they will struggle.
Couples should have conversations about their baby during a neutral time.
They should establish a general plan, but prepare for things to not go according to plan.
Couples should have a strategy for when they’re struggling. They can remember a time they worked together and create a code word to remind them of that.
How can couples prepare for the mental load of parenthood?
First, acknowledge that the mental load is heavy. Don’t dismiss it.
Read about and learn about the things we do after having kids. (Like the Fair Play book or cards)
Do a time audit to account for everything you do each day.
Have these tough conversations to connect.
What do you wish people knew about the early days with a baby?
Say yes to help that is your love language, that makes sense to you. If help isn’t helpful, don’t accept it.
Give yourself grace. You will need time to learn your baby.
Protect your space and give yourself time to figure it out.
What are your biggest tips for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum?
Sleep when you need to sleep. Let things wait if they can because your body needs to recover. Ask other people who you feel comfortable with to do things, so you can rest.
Where can people find you?
You can connect with Veronica on her website, Instagram, or her TikTok.
Enjoy the episode!
As a licensed clinical social worker, Dr. Eyo has years of experience treating adults and couples that struggle with trauma, depression, anxiety, life transitions, relationship conflicts, parenting skills, social skills, and grief and loss. She specializes in working with mothers (new and seasoned) as they navigate their motherhood journey as well as managing symptoms of perinatal mental health. Her approach to therapy is a collaborative, client-centered approach with the usage of various evidence-based interventions including cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal psychotherapy. She obtained my Master's and a doctoral degree from the University of Southern California.
